Worrying about the future?

Many people worry about the future every day. And I do, too. If you're a thoughtful person, you're likely to worry about it a lot. I often find myself worrying too much, although I know that I shouldn't. 

One very important reason why I shouldn't worry about the future too much is:

It's the future. It's purely speculative and it's unlikely to happen the exact way you're imagining it. 

Of course it can get worse. But it can also get better. Or it can turn out totally different. 

There is no need to rack one's brain over something that hasn't even happened! The present is more important. It should matter the most. Enjoy the moment, because once it's gone, it's never coming back. If someone worries the whole life about the future, that person isn't living in the present and therefore is likely to miss out on something. 

So the present is the key to happiness. A great moment will become a great memory so that makes a positive present and a positive past. So let the future be a mystery which doesn't have to be solved now - but in time. 

Perception

Lately I've been wondering about the concept of perception and how perception varies every day and every moment. It flabbergasts me that perception of a person, a location or even a film changes so quickly. 

It came upon me when I watched a film series from my childhood. I still could remember how I felt back then when watching that film. But the feeling today is so different. 

My perception of people also changes quickly. The first impression of a person always stays in mind, but after a few weeks, when I get to know a person better, my perception of that person changes. So from that moment on, I have different perceptions of that person - the one from the beginning and the current one. And after a while, dozens of perceptions seem to dance in my head when I see that person. That's absolutely crazy and sometimes confusing. 

My perception of a city or a location often changes with the seasons. Now spring is coming, but everything still looks like winter. The trees aren't blossoming yet, the forest looks rather grey and brown instead of green. But I can picture spring arriving. I also see the city in summer when I close my eyes. People sitting outside, drinking cocktails and eating ice cream. Green parks full of laughing children. I open my eyes and close them again. Now it's autumn. The leaves are yellow and red and blowing in the wind. The weather is changing and the city has a different smell than in summer. The weather changes fast, it rains a lot. People often stay in their homes. Another moment passes. Suddenly it's winter and snowflakes are falling from the sky. The forest is covered in white, soft snow. It's freezing cold. People are wearing jackets and gloves. So many different faces of just one single place. 

Perception. Such a small word for something so big and diverse. Every day I wake up to a new world, a new reality. One day I see it through tired eyes, because I didn't get enough sleep. One day I am cheerful, one day I'm sad, another day I'm excited. Every time, the world is different. Every time, I perceive it in a different way. It is time to cherish the uniqueness of everything - every day.

Decisions

Life is full of choices, there are endless paths that one can strike. It can be exciting to come to a decision, but it sometimes is a true challenge. I distinguish between small and big decisions. 

Small decisions include the questions whether I go running right after work or after dinner, whether I cut my hair 3 or 8 cm or whether I take holidays in June or in July. Although small decisions influence your life as well, most of the time it is not so difficult to decide what to do. 

It's the big decisions in life that are the real challenges. I often have problems to make up my mind and go one path. When there is a big decision right in front of me at a crossroads, I long to look towards the end of each path in order to see if it's the right one. But mostly that's just not possible. I have to decide right at the crossroads, take one specific path and live with it. There is no turning back. That's what makes it so scary. There are things where there simply is no "undo" button. If you had a surgery, then you can't undo it. If you get married, you're married and you have to deal with it. Just like that. 

How can we be sure to take the right path? The answer is we can't. Sometimes it's good to give different options some thought, to weigh up the consequences, hear some opinions and so on. But in the end, it's up to you! Listen to your heart and do what you feel is the right choice for you. And then it's time to face the consequences! Whether they're good or bad.  

Sometimes only few words are needed to describe a topic. Check out what my fellow blogger Moretotheshell says about decisions: "Life and its options. Wonderful and horrifying"  (https://moretotheshell.blogspot.de/2018/02/treecisions.html)

How to feel less anxious - 8 suggestions

Last week I published my post on daily life anxiety, which is widely spread among our fast moving society. During the last days I thought about some strategies that help me when I have anxious thoughts. I know that every person is different and therefore everyone needs their own strategy, but maybe my ideas are helpful and inspire you. 

1. Calm down and breathe slowly - I know it sounds silly, but if you are experiencing a sudden wave of anxiety, concentrate on breathing in and out for a minute or two. Your brain will focus on breathing and forget at least a little bit about the anxious thoughts. 
2. Talk to someone - If the anxious thoughts keep coming back, confide to a friend or someone you know will listen. The person doesn't have to be a specialist. The most important thing is to share your thoughts and let them out. Most likely you will feel better afterwards. 
3. Don't drink too much coffee or alcohol - you may think it'll help you calm down, but it mostly adds to your anxious thoughts and makes them worse after a while. So instead drink enough water and tea (fresh ginger is very good in tea!). 
4. Enjoy the moment - Don't think too much about the future. Anxious thoughts often relate to the future. But the future isn't always something that you can change. Be in the present instead. Every moment will soon be past and you don't want to miss it. So try to relish every moment instead of worrying about a time that hasn't even come yet. 
5. Exercise - Doing sport helps me a lot. If you haven't figured out what sport you like, start doing that. There are so many options and there is always a sport that fits you. During and after sport, I always feel so much better, relaxed and happy with myself. It's nice to have feelings of happiness. And it's a lot easier to fall asleep after having exercised. 
6. Travel - Travelling, seeing other countries and meeting new people always cheers me up. When you're travelling, you're far away from your daily routine, your work and your everyday problems. You are in a new situation and you have the possibility to figure out what you really want, because every time you travel you learn something new about yourself. 
7. Go outside - If the sun is shining, take a long walk. Breathing fresh air calms me down enormously and helps me focus on positive things. The sun has a super power and it's for free, so enjoy it!
8. Be yourself - don't let anyone change you! If someone doesn't accept you how you are (with all the anxious thoughts that you may have), then stop spending time with that person. Figure out what is good for you and what helps you be yourself, feel good about yourself and try every day to do a lot of this stuff so that you feel less anxious and better about yourself. 

These 8 strategies help me feel better and feel less anxious about things. If you have other ideas, please let me know so that we can share our experience! 

True friendship

In the age of social media, we make new contacts every day. It is easy to connect with people even if they are living in another country. We have hundreds of "friends" on Facebook and many more followers on Instagram and Twitter. The world is full of people and I personally know a lot of people. But what makes those people real friends? 
Everyone gets disappointed by people. I also had people around me that I thought were true friends, but in the end they disappointed me and they didn't care about our "friendship". Only when it was too late I discovered that those people only cared about themselves. 

So what is true friendship? 

1. Honesty: A true friend doesn't lie to you. Friends tell each other everything straight forward and certainly don't talk behind your back. If you did something wrong, your friends brings it up right away so that it can be settled immediately. 
2. Love: True friends love you. They accept your flaws as well. They want to spend time with you when you're in a good mood as well as in a bad mood. True friends help each other and are there for each other - no matter what. True friends are there for you in good AND bad times. I've known a person who I thought was my friend and we spend a lot of time together and even went together on vacation. But once she started a relationship with a boy, she had no need for friends anymore and didn't care when I had a hard time in my life. People like that aren't your real friends. After having learnt that I am more confident. If you realize that a person only uses you for entertainment or whatever, don't feel bad to end the so called friendship. You'll feel better and have more time for your real friends. 
3. Sympathy: True friends show sympathy when you are sick or sad about something. They are also glad for you once you achieved a goal at work or in your private life. They aren't jealous, but are happy for you as you are for them! 
4. Forgiveness: Every friendship encounters problems. Sometimes one person makes a mistake and that leads to some tensions. The key is to talk about it, to apologize and to forgive. If it's a true friendship, it can survive those difficulties and even get stronger. 
5. Happiness: A true friendship is full of happiness. True friends spend wonderful times together and even if you have a lot of stress at work, you forget about everything when you spend time with your friend. A true friend makes you laugh and enjoy life. Friends do not make each other miserable. They support each other in hard times and make each other's life more livable. 

 It takes a lot of time to develop a true friendship and it is important to take some time for your friend. Friendship shouldn't be neglected. Even a relationship shouldn't have the power to destroy a friendship. Let's think about our true friends and be happy that we've found them.