The Autumn Phenomenon

Summer is gone...autumn is coming. At least that is what they say. But what are seasons? Ideally, summer is sunny and warm, autumn is colourful and rainy, winter is cold and icy, and spring means blossoms and flowers. That's what we learned when we were children and that is what many songs are about. 
But what's real? This summer was indeed sunny and warm, but mostly humid. This tropical rainforest climate started in June and lasted until early September. It was mostly unbearable as there was no oxygen in the air. It was suffocating and it was impossible to do outdoor sports. Due to the many mosquitos it was unbearable to sit outside in the evening. 

Now autumn is coming...and with it the oppressive heat is gone. The air feels lighter.  It is still sunny and warm, but much more relaxing. The oxygen has returned and with it the motivation to spend time outside. I feel more alive and closer to nature. Everything feels more natural and real. 

Finally my summer feeling is there. It feels right. 

Pas à pas

Life is a long and complicated path. It can be very frustrating and energy consuming. There may be times when you are so desperate, you don't see the sense of proceeding on your way. At such a point, I always go to a quite place and close my eyes and try not to think of anything. Such moments often reveal some clarity. 
There is no perfect day, no perfect holiday, no perfect job, no perfect relationship and no perfect life. But there are moments that are so important for you that they gild all the other aspects. 
Find those moments and enjoy them to the fullest. If you keep your mind open and take every day as a new start, there will be many of those moments. At the end, everyone can achieve their goals if they don't concentrate on desperation and chaos but on satisfaction and on the wonders of life. 
There is more than you can see, you learn something every day- and it sometimes makes you very happy to share these things or to pass them on to someone.

 

Tunnel of Life

Life consists of a continuous change of seasons. Now spring is coming. Flowers and trees are reborn. People say that spring symbolizes a new beginning.

Autumn on the other end marks the end of summer, when the leaves are turning brown and plants die. It marks some kind of end.

It baffles me how close the beginning of something can be to the end of the latter. Life is but a road with spring on the one side and autumn on the other side. In the middle there is summer - a time when life happens.

So we walk through that tunnel. Sometimes is gets darks and you get frustrated. We cannot escape but we can see the beauty of it and change some aspects to fill the tunnel with light and happiness.

It is about figuring out how to relish every second!

Mirage

Every morning after waking up in my drey I look at the walnut tree. Every morning I spend some time just looking and it. And every morning it looks different. I cannot help but ask myself why. Is it the weather? 

Of course things look different on a grey and rainy day than on a sunny day when the sky is blue. The light is different. 

Of course trees look different in spring when they are blossoming - and in summer when they are shining in lime-green and the leaves are illuminated by the sun. In autumn a tree is colourful and shows off with its yellow and red leaves that fall down and form a soft carpet on the ground. And in winter a tree is either white and full of snow or grey on a rainy day. 

But that is not it. I feel like I see things differently depending on my mood. It is as if I wake up with a different pair of eyes every morning, because someone changed my eyes while I was sleeping. I wonder which appearence of my surroundings is real. Do things change all the time or does our perception change? Can we see the truth of every tiny organism and object or do we merely see a mirage every day that our mind is making up to play tricks on us? 

Does my walnut tree even exist? And if yes, how is it? What is the actual truth of it? And will I ever be able to see it? Or am I part of the mirage and I am something different...maybe I myself am the tree. The tree that changes its colours and shape every day, that is part of the illusion that is the world. And that may or may not exist. To me, to you, to all of us. 

Just a flare?

Rain. Wind. Storm. It is cold; it is dark. Everything is shaking; changing; nothing is as it seems. Life is but an image in a puddle. One moment it is there, the other it is gone forever. And nothing remains.

No one cares, so I have to care for myself. I have to keep my balance. Otherwise the tree branch I am sitting on will give in and I fall down. Deep down. And no one will know. Not even myself. The wind whispers some secrets I do not understand. This is not helping me. I have to be strong. I cannot fall down. My image in the puddle below has to remain a little bit longer.

Somehow it does not feel right. I need to go, there is something waiting for me. I am leaving but my shadow behind. Strength. Strong will.

The time has come. Only the wind knows. And he is blowing strong. He has made up his mind.

 

Ambiguity in times of certainty

There are still many nuts in my garden, I do not have to fall asleep being hungry. The walnut tree offers me enough food, I do not have to worry about that. Lady Squirrel is with me, we spend time together. I like that. Especially in winter it is reassuring to have someone close so that the days do not feel so miserable. But there are moments when I want to be alone - when I need to concentrate on myself, when I need to eat a nut quietly. I then let Lady Squirrel do whatever she wants to do. My mates keep their Lady Squirrels close. I am not sure if that is the right decision. I know that the chance is bigger that I end up being alone because Lady Squirrel might find other things more interesting and chooses to leave me. 
But I cannot control other creatures. You cannot chance them by keeping them too close. So my task is to live with that understanding and see what the future holds. 
The key is to get along with oneself. So I calm down and eat another nut. If Lady Squirrel waits for me in the drey later that day, I will be delighted. If not, I probably have known it ever since. 

COINcidence

I have found a coin on my walnut tree. The coin shows a tree full of leaves and ripe fruits. It is beautiful. Right now the tree is grey and the miserable weather makes it look even worse whereas the tree on the coin looks full of life and promising. 
Coins do not mean anything to me. They are useless, because I cannot eat them. But can they still mean something? Is it a coincidence that I have found that special coin on my tree on that exact day? Or is there a greater meaning? Does it show me the future that is going to happen no matter what I do? Or does it show me one scenario that might happen if I make the right choices? Or does it show me something that I am never gonna achieve? Or does it simply mean nothing and is just a beautiful piece of silver that looks pretty in the sun? 
What are coincidences and how do they influence our life? Are we supposed to get motivation through coincidences? Do we have to act if this scenario appeals to us? How can such a coin influence our life? 

I truly cannot tell you now. Let us see what will happen. I am willing to give myself to the future. 

Don't mind the gap!

Life prepares for death. We cannot escape death. That is the truth. The only question is: What do we do before we die? How do we live? Sometimes this question pops into my head.
Especially during winter, there are many storms and the weather is unpredictable. When I jump from tree to tree I sometimes think about being not careful enough. I could fall down and die. Every day could be the day I die. And I cannot know when I am going to die. Most of my squirrel friends are very careful, they do not dare to risk anything because they are afraid of the consequences. But I figured that it makes no difference. If you are too afraid to jump, maybe an eagle will spot you on your tree minutes later and kill you. And even if that does not happen...will you live a happy life if you are afraid all the time to realise your dreams? 
I decided to a risk and make my dreams come true! Even if I happen to die the next day, it is probably worth it. 

Laugh at first sight?

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds 

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when in alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove."

--Shakespeare, Sonnet 116.--

It is still a harsh and cold winter. But many squirrels have already found a partner to stay with so that they can mate in spring and do what they are supposed to do. Last year I dated many different Lady Squirrels to fulfill the expecations of my squirrel friends. But they were so different from me. There is not one that I could bear be with for more than a few days. I missed my days alone, my peaceful time on the walnut tree. I am happier when they are all gone. But what does it make me? Am I to be pitied? Am I worth less than my friends because I am alone? 

This long and cold winter gives me time to think a lot and I start to think that I am meant to follow my own path. I know that this is the right thing to do. But sometimes there are moments and situations where I need some other squirrel nonetheless. I sometimes cannot cope on my own. The question is: should I avoid those moments or somehow find a solution to deal with those situations on my own? Am I capable of doing that? I should not ask myself these questions, I should be more confident. Because there is no one, and there probably will not be no one, to encourage me and help me with that. Because I am the only one who can enter my mind and begin to understand what is going on there. 

For the night is dark...

“Lord of Light! Come to us in our darkness. We offer you these false gods. Take them and cast your light upon us. For the night is dark and full of terrors.”
---GoT---

It is dark again. It’s always dark these days. Days are short and pass by so fast. Squirrels don’t leave the drey at night. So them long nights seem like a waste of time. If there were long nights all the time throughout the year, would my life be a waste of time? Or can I somehow embrace the darkness and make it an irreplaceable part of my goals. And yet I wonder what those goals might be. I am just a little squirrel living in a big walnut tree. What is the purpose of everything and what is my purpose in life? Do I have one…and if yes…how can I find it if I can’t see in the darkness?

Never Ending Wandering

A new year has started. Things have changed. Or have they? Frankly I can't tell the difference. I still wake up every morning and look for things to eat. Because that's what I have to do in order to survive. Eat. That's what everyone has to do, no matter where they live or what species they are. For me, it's pure surviving. And that's all I have to do. People tend to make things more complicated. They make themselves sit in a dusty office eight hours a day, do useless work in order to get paid at the end of the month. That's what they do their whole life. They only stop when they're old, so that they can enjoy the best time of their life to the fullest. 
I can't imagine that they're happy. That's probably the reason why they make new year's resolutions. To improve their life, to give it a meaning. I don't need to change anything...that's why it is so hard for me to understand people. They're different, they tend to make things complicated when it could be so easy. I wake up every morning to look for nuts and once I'm not hungry anymore, I do what I love doing - I chase up and down the walnut tree. It did this last year and I continue the same way this year. Until I die.