Mirage

Every morning after waking up in my drey I look at the walnut tree. Every morning I spend some time just looking and it. And every morning it looks different. I cannot help but ask myself why. Is it the weather? 

Of course things look different on a grey and rainy day than on a sunny day when the sky is blue. The light is different. 

Of course trees look different in spring when they are blossoming - and in summer when they are shining in lime-green and the leaves are illuminated by the sun. In autumn a tree is colourful and shows off with its yellow and red leaves that fall down and form a soft carpet on the ground. And in winter a tree is either white and full of snow or grey on a rainy day. 

But that is not it. I feel like I see things differently depending on my mood. It is as if I wake up with a different pair of eyes every morning, because someone changed my eyes while I was sleeping. I wonder which appearence of my surroundings is real. Do things change all the time or does our perception change? Can we see the truth of every tiny organism and object or do we merely see a mirage every day that our mind is making up to play tricks on us? 

Does my walnut tree even exist? And if yes, how is it? What is the actual truth of it? And will I ever be able to see it? Or am I part of the mirage and I am something different...maybe I myself am the tree. The tree that changes its colours and shape every day, that is part of the illusion that is the world. And that may or may not exist. To me, to you, to all of us. 

Just a flare?

Rain. Wind. Storm. It is cold; it is dark. Everything is shaking; changing; nothing is as it seems. Life is but an image in a puddle. One moment it is there, the other it is gone forever. And nothing remains.

No one cares, so I have to care for myself. I have to keep my balance. Otherwise the tree branch I am sitting on will give in and I fall down. Deep down. And no one will know. Not even myself. The wind whispers some secrets I do not understand. This is not helping me. I have to be strong. I cannot fall down. My image in the puddle below has to remain a little bit longer.

Somehow it does not feel right. I need to go, there is something waiting for me. I am leaving but my shadow behind. Strength. Strong will.

The time has come. Only the wind knows. And he is blowing strong. He has made up his mind.

 

Ambiguity in times of certainty

There are still many nuts in my garden, I do not have to fall asleep being hungry. The walnut tree offers me enough food, I do not have to worry about that. Lady Squirrel is with me, we spend time together. I like that. Especially in winter it is reassuring to have someone close so that the days do not feel so miserable. But there are moments when I want to be alone - when I need to concentrate on myself, when I need to eat a nut quietly. I then let Lady Squirrel do whatever she wants to do. My mates keep their Lady Squirrels close. I am not sure if that is the right decision. I know that the chance is bigger that I end up being alone because Lady Squirrel might find other things more interesting and chooses to leave me. 
But I cannot control other creatures. You cannot chance them by keeping them too close. So my task is to live with that understanding and see what the future holds. 
The key is to get along with oneself. So I calm down and eat another nut. If Lady Squirrel waits for me in the drey later that day, I will be delighted. If not, I probably have known it ever since. 

COINcidence

I have found a coin on my walnut tree. The coin shows a tree full of leaves and ripe fruits. It is beautiful. Right now the tree is grey and the miserable weather makes it look even worse whereas the tree on the coin looks full of life and promising. 
Coins do not mean anything to me. They are useless, because I cannot eat them. But can they still mean something? Is it a coincidence that I have found that special coin on my tree on that exact day? Or is there a greater meaning? Does it show me the future that is going to happen no matter what I do? Or does it show me one scenario that might happen if I make the right choices? Or does it show me something that I am never gonna achieve? Or does it simply mean nothing and is just a beautiful piece of silver that looks pretty in the sun? 
What are coincidences and how do they influence our life? Are we supposed to get motivation through coincidences? Do we have to act if this scenario appeals to us? How can such a coin influence our life? 

I truly cannot tell you now. Let us see what will happen. I am willing to give myself to the future. 

Don't mind the gap!

Life prepares for death. We cannot escape death. That is the truth. The only question is: What do we do before we die? How do we live? Sometimes this question pops into my head.
Especially during winter, there are many storms and the weather is unpredictable. When I jump from tree to tree I sometimes think about being not careful enough. I could fall down and die. Every day could be the day I die. And I cannot know when I am going to die. Most of my squirrel friends are very careful, they do not dare to risk anything because they are afraid of the consequences. But I figured that it makes no difference. If you are too afraid to jump, maybe an eagle will spot you on your tree minutes later and kill you. And even if that does not happen...will you live a happy life if you are afraid all the time to realise your dreams? 
I decided to a risk and make my dreams come true! Even if I happen to die the next day, it is probably worth it. 

Laugh at first sight?

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds 

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when in alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove."

--Shakespeare, Sonnet 116.--

It is still a harsh and cold winter. But many squirrels have already found a partner to stay with so that they can mate in spring and do what they are supposed to do. Last year I dated many different Lady Squirrels to fulfill the expecations of my squirrel friends. But they were so different from me. There is not one that I could bear be with for more than a few days. I missed my days alone, my peaceful time on the walnut tree. I am happier when they are all gone. But what does it make me? Am I to be pitied? Am I worth less than my friends because I am alone? 

This long and cold winter gives me time to think a lot and I start to think that I am meant to follow my own path. I know that this is the right thing to do. But sometimes there are moments and situations where I need some other squirrel nonetheless. I sometimes cannot cope on my own. The question is: should I avoid those moments or somehow find a solution to deal with those situations on my own? Am I capable of doing that? I should not ask myself these questions, I should be more confident. Because there is no one, and there probably will not be no one, to encourage me and help me with that. Because I am the only one who can enter my mind and begin to understand what is going on there. 

For the night is dark...

“Lord of Light! Come to us in our darkness. We offer you these false gods. Take them and cast your light upon us. For the night is dark and full of terrors.”
---GoT---

It is dark again. It’s always dark these days. Days are short and pass by so fast. Squirrels don’t leave the drey at night. So them long nights seem like a waste of time. If there were long nights all the time throughout the year, would my life be a waste of time? Or can I somehow embrace the darkness and make it an irreplaceable part of my goals. And yet I wonder what those goals might be. I am just a little squirrel living in a big walnut tree. What is the purpose of everything and what is my purpose in life? Do I have one…and if yes…how can I find it if I can’t see in the darkness?

Never Ending Wandering

A new year has started. Things have changed. Or have they? Frankly I can't tell the difference. I still wake up every morning and look for things to eat. Because that's what I have to do in order to survive. Eat. That's what everyone has to do, no matter where they live or what species they are. For me, it's pure surviving. And that's all I have to do. People tend to make things more complicated. They make themselves sit in a dusty office eight hours a day, do useless work in order to get paid at the end of the month. That's what they do their whole life. They only stop when they're old, so that they can enjoy the best time of their life to the fullest. 
I can't imagine that they're happy. That's probably the reason why they make new year's resolutions. To improve their life, to give it a meaning. I don't need to change anything...that's why it is so hard for me to understand people. They're different, they tend to make things complicated when it could be so easy. I wake up every morning to look for nuts and once I'm not hungry anymore, I do what I love doing - I chase up and down the walnut tree. It did this last year and I continue the same way this year. Until I die. 

The dark end.

The candlelit time is over. Christmas is over. I don't get the concept of all of it anyway. I keep surviving the cold and dark time of the year. This year is nearly over now. People make up new year's resolutions. They want everything to be better next year. Of course it doesn't work that way. I for example want to eat more nuts, work less for it and enjoy running up and down trees more. But I always have to make efforts to get what I want and some things are beyond my control. So my advise is to think of today, make today a good day as it's nearly impossible to plan one year ahead. 

Happy New Year and Happy nut nuts! 

ADVENT(-urous) season

No one to hang the tinsel with.

Or mistletoe for that matter.

No one to share a sherry, a gift or a cracker.

No one to say Happy Christmas to.

Or bring you mince pies in bed.

No one to share a nutty nut nut.

No one to chase you up the tree.

No one to make one day any different from the rest. 

No one, but no one, should have no one at Christmas.

Advent season. The most peaceful time of the year. At least that's what they say. People. Such weird creatures. I observe them every day from my drey. Advent season doesn't seem peaceful for them at all. They are always in a rush, all streets and shops are crowded and everyone seems so tense and stressed. I really don't get it. They seem to make it hard on themselves. I try to ignore them while I eat my nuts every day. My tree has lost all its leaves. It gets harder to find nuts, so I have to put a lot of effort into it. My companion nowadays is another squirrel with dark brown fur. We share the drey and help each other find the most delicious nuts. We're a good team and it's good to be with a beloved creature as the days are short and the night is dark and full of terrors. 
So let's not think about all this and enjoy the peacefulness until Christmas. 

No-Vam-Bear

Remember, remember!

The fifth of November...

It's getting darker, it's getting colder. It's grey almost every day, the leaves are falling down. Soon my walnut tree will be dead again. The nuts are falling down, there's mud everywhere. It's a good time to die probably. But not for me. I am hungry, I need to eat. I need to survive the winter. That's why I keep looking for nuts. I need to become as fat as possible. It's about surviving. To be or not to be, that is the question. For now, my tree wears yellow feathers...it's beautiful. In the end it's all about enjoying the moment. We never know if there will be another day to enjoy. So let's enjoy today and make it something special. 

Trick or Treat? Skulls are driving me nuts.

Mr Squirrel's Diaries XVII

Halloween! The scariest time of the year. It's getting dark very early, it's time to get used to sleep early. But sometimes it is just funnier to scare people instead. Look what my cousin in the UK did in order to have fun:

I'm a nice squirrel, I wouldn't scare people like that. But I have to admit that I enjoy some pranks myself. People are dressing up as witches, vampires and zombies. I observe everything from my walnut tree. The nuts are delicious these days. I take my time eating them. Trick or Treat? Hm, I'd rather have another nut. Happy Halloween to everyone!

October Sun

Mr Squirrel's Diaries XVI

It's a clear, bright and harsh October sun

Lights me up so I've nowhere left to run

MATT BERRY

Autumn...maybe my favourite time of the year. The leaves are turning yellow, red and brown and it's not as hot as it used to be in summer. There are less people outside, the garden is mine again. But the best things about autumn is that the walnuts are ready to eat. Fresh nuts everywhere. This is heaven. I overheard people complaining about the weather, the shorter days, the darkness and the cold nights. It seems that they are never happy. How can't they see the beauty of autumn? How can't they appreciate the mild October sun? I'm busy These days eating all the nuts and seeds I can find. My garden is so colourful these days, like the most beautiful rainbow in the sky.

La rentrée - Après Summer in September

Mr Squirrel's Diaries XV

Au pays du lundi, On démarre plein d’énergie. 

Au pays du mardi, On continue comme lundi. 

Au pays du mercredi, On peut dormir jusqu’à midi. 

Au pays du jeudi, On recommence, c’est la vie. 

Au pays du vendredi, On a beaucoup d’amis. 

Au pays du samedi, La semaine est presque finie. 

Au pays du dimanche, On s’embrasse, on chante, on rit. 

M. PENUEL 

That's it. The big reunion. Seeing my beloved Lady S. and my children again after a long summer. Even though it's a short moment of happiness as soon our ways will part again, we're all enjoying it. We're chasing each other up and down the trees and getting as much sun as possible before autumn and winter are coming. 

Every day of the week is the same for us. It's different with the humans. They invented seven different days. So sometimes they're busy, sometimes they relax. And every Monday, they're desperate because a new exhausting week is about to start. Whereas I don't care. My Monday is their Sunday. As is my Tuesday, my Wednesday, my Thursday and my Friday. Soon the nuts are ready to eat. I can't wait! Happy September! Bonne rentrée à tout le monde!

Adventurous August

Mr Squirrel's Diaries XIV

So I'm back in my garden. Back in the game. It feels good to be home. The kids have left the drey, Lady Squirrel has taken good care of them. It's time for them to find a new home and live their life. It's only me and my ladies again. After a month of relaxation and loneliness it feels good to have some company. It's still hot, summer is still there. We are playing our games mostly in the morning or in the evening, to escape the heat. I'm full of energy again. 

Hot hot summer

Mr Squirrel's diary XIII

It is hot. It is summer. Do you even know how hot it is when you're wearing your fur all the time? I tried to stay at home, but it was just too much stress. My ladies had our children and it was so exhausting caring for them all the time that I decided to take some time off. So I went on vacation to the park nearby. The park is beautiful, there is a stream where you can always get enough water to drink. In my garden water is rare in summer. So I packed my things and went to the park. I found a nice little empty drey to sleep for a few weeks and enjoyed the silence and peace. No female squirrels, no chasing, no responsibilities. That's just what I needed. I stayed there from the beginning of July until August. It's the hottest time of the year. All I did was eating some leaves (nuts are too heavy in summer) and drink a lot of water. It was so relaxing.

Me drinking from the stream in the park. 

I am Squirrelman!

Mr Squirrel's Diary XII

Forget about Superman, forget about Spiderman...I am the real hero, I am Squirrelman and I have superpowers. It's not only that I can climb my walnut tree at the speed of light, I can rush down the tree head first and my claws stick to the tree like the most sticky glue so that I can't fall down. I can jump from tree to tree and it feels like flying when I stretch out in the air navigating with my tail. I can build myself a home without any help and I survive even the coldest winter. 
Yeah, we all know that. But the real reason why I call myself Squirrelman is that I found myself not one, not two but three different squirrel ladies and they're all staying with me for the moment. Well, nuts to you, I am the king of the world. 

Me and one of my ladies being real life heroes. 

...and I know things.

Mr Squirrel's Diary XI

There are things in life that you need.I for example need my freedom. I now have many women in my life, which is good - don't get me wrong. But a squirrel needs to eat a nut once in a while without being disturbed. Sometimes the ladies would play together. I always use this time to get away. I also like to sit on my walnut tree and relax. Humans are lighting fires these days to make food. I hate the smell, it makes me want to throw up. Why do they need to prepare their food when there are delicious nuts everywhere? They are disturbing everyone in the garden with that smell. I have the feeling that they want to destroy the harmony of the place.